Grayson 
I was scrolling through Reddit one night when I saw a comment that stopped me: “That’s so Lumon.” Wait—Lumon? I knew Lumon Industries from Severance, Apple TV’s eerie psychological thriller. But people online were using Lumon like everyday slang. “Lumon vibes.” “Lumon aesthetic.” “My company went full Lumon.” That’s when I realized: Lumon isn’t just … Read more
Took my kids to this petting farm outside Columbus last weekend. They had goats, chickens, a couple of horses — and this massive animal in the corner. “Dad, what’s that?” my daughter asked. “That’s an ox,” I said. Then she pointed at another one. “What about that one?” “Uh… another ox?” The farmer laughed. “You’ve … Read more
My daughter came home from school last Tuesday with her chemistry test. Got marked down on a question. She wrote: “Noble gasses don’t react with other elements.” Teacher crossed out “gasses” and wrote “gases” in red ink above it. My daughter was confused. “But I thought you double the S when making plurals?” Valid question. … Read more
My friend texted me Sunday afternoon: “Come over anytime you want.” I started typing back. Paused. Stared at my phone. Is it “anytime” or “any time”? One word or two? I’ve seen it both ways. Used it both ways. Never really thought about whether there’s a difference. Turns out there is a difference. And it … Read more
My nephew texted me : “Can you pick me up from school?” I replied: “Sure, what time?” He sent back: “3pm ofc” I stared at my phone. OFC? What the hell does ofc mean? I’m not ancient. I know internet slang. LOL, BRB, IMO—got those down. But ofc was new territory. Turns out ofc means … Read more
My friend sent me a text while I was at work: “FT me when you get home” I panicked. FT? Was this some relationship test I was failing? I know texting abbreviations. BRB, IDK, WYD—those are second nature. But ft caught me completely off guard. Turns out ft means “FaceTime.” She just wanted a video … Read more
I texted my friend: “Want to grab lunch?” They replied: “maybe…” Three dots. That’s it. I stared at my screen. Were they unsure? Annoyed? Waiting for me to say more? Turns out “…” is one of the most emotionally complex punctuation marks—with TWELVE different meanings throughout texting. Misreading those dots? Ruined conversations. Awkward misunderstandings. Unnecessary … Read more
I was texting my friend when they suddenly sent: “TTYL” Four letters. Conversation over. I stared at my screen. Was I being dismissed? Did they need to go? Were they upset? Turns out TTYL is one of the most misunderstood abbreviations—with SEVEN distinct meanings and emotional tones throughout texting. Using TTYL wrong? Accidentally rude endings. … Read more
My best friend texted me at 2am: “HN, talk tomorrow” I stared at the screen. HN? What in the world does hn mean? I know internet slang. SMH, FYI, TTYL—got those memorized. But hn threw me completely off guard. Turns out hn has multiple meanings depending on context. And figuring out which one someone means … Read more
Your friend just sent “OMS I CAN’T BELIEVE IT” and you’re sitting there wondering if they meant OMG, made a typo, or if OMS is actually something you should know. Plot twist: OMS is intentional, widely used, and has a completely different vibe than OMG. Last week my sister texted “oms this is so good” … Read more
